i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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