no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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