Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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