SEEEEXXX PLEASE
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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