I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize