Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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