I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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