The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize