my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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