At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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