Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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