If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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