I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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