I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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