Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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