i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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