they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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