I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize