I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
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He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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