Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize