that's an acceptable place to lick
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
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I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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