never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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