I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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