your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize