Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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