i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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