In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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