I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize