I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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