The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize