No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize