we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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