He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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