once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
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She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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