I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize