idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
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I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize