Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize