her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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