i permit you to call me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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