I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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