The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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