awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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