i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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