So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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