Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize