There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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