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So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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