you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize