Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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