ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize